Excuses are Like Assholes

I swear...if Jesse James comes out and claims, "sex addiction," I will completely loose my shit. I do not understand this new trend with Hollywood men...sex addiction?!?!? Really??? It's called...keep it in your pants man and realize you are a married man...and if you don't want to be married...don't be...

Sorry...am just sick and tired of this crap hitting the news constantly...as a woman, much less a married woman, it's disgusting.

Ok...should probably step of my soapbox before someone pushes me!

I heart Target

I have a crush on Target....I love their clothes, their jewelry, their cosmetics, their home stuff, and their paper. I simply love walking around Target. I have been known to rock the Back Wall Crawl on a Saturday night while my hubby is home watching football.

For those of you not as well versed in the Target lingo. The Back Wall Crawl is covering the whole Target store hitting only the clearance end caps. During the Back Wall Crawl you will discover there are a lot of items you had no idea you wanted until they were marked with a little red sticker, showing a new lower price.

Currently I am really into Target for two lines:

1. Ocean themed jewelry


2. Merona Collection dresses

Both of these lines from Target are amazing and look and feel much more expensive than they really are. I am often stopped and asked where I get some of wardrobe, regardless if it's an accessory or dress. And 6 times out of 10, my items has come from Target.

There....the secret is out.

Fawesome

Fawesome= Eff'ing Awesome

To all my friends and family...this is a new word of my creation....I will be using it in everyday conversations...please make yourself familiar with it.

Thanks!

Happy St Patricks Day

Over the weekend, I was able to purchase my first pair of Emilio Pucci shoes. I am quite certain that they might be a season or two behind the current one, but this is the season I could afford and bring home to show my husband.

Needless to say, I was pretty excited to add them to my wardrobe. They are precious little suede flats with Pucci ribbon bowed on them. So cute and fairly comfortable for flats, which I find to never be that comfortable!

As I was planning my outfit for today last night...yep...I plan my outfits out the night before...I was showing my husband what shoes I was going to where....Ah...the new Pucci's....I told him,

"They are my green for tomorrow...Happy Valentine's Day MutherF'ers."

Oops! But instead of correcting myself I just walked out of the room. He knew what I meant.

Natural Talents

It's been said that we all have natural talents. Some of us as musical from the start without proper training. Some people are good with numbers from the start. I have decided that my natural talent is doing my own nails. I have had two mani/pedi's in the last week and a half. And after each time, I have been disappointed. When I do my nails they look a 1000 times better. So from this point further, I am refusing to pay for mani/pedi's.

To all my girlfriends that read this post, I love you and want to do girl time with you, but from this point forward there will be no more mani/pedi's for this girl. I am all for the spa...I will be super happy to head out for a massage or a facial with you...but no more waste of $50.

My girlfriends might be upset by this revelation, but my husband is jumping for joy...but don't worry honey, I will find something else to waste $50 on!

Dear John....

Here is my open letter to John Mayer, whom I say with my best friend on Friday night:

Dear John,

You talk entirely too much. I have coined a new phrase called, "Being a John Mayer." This means someone is being extremely dramatic and over the top.

There is no doubt you are talented. What I do doubt is your ability to shut up. I think Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston would agree.

Love Ya, Mean It!

Love,
Leslie

Hey Bartender....

I just recently got back from a "business trip," that was held in Florida. Usually the trip, which I have been on 4 times now, is an amazing time with warm weather, sun, and relaxation. This year it was cold. 65 degrees with 25 mph winds.

So I spent quality amounts of time roaming around the resort and searching for Diet Coke. It completely annoys me when there is only Pepsi products available at a resort...freaking provide both if my room rate is $995/night....you can afford it!

As I was roaming the resort hallways I wondered into a coffee shop that had cans of D Coke for $2.95...and yeah...I bought two. As I was waiting in line, this 90 pound tan as a blackberry lady that might have been around 75 years old passed by me. The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that she only wore a sweatshirt and a black bikini bottom...keep in mind...she is 75 years old. She is so tan that her saggy little ass almost looks cute.

She passes by me and leans into the large fridge to grab out...and I am not kidding you....an Ensure enhanced calorie drink...and 2 cans of Miller Light. As she passes by me she says in the lowest, deepest, smokiest voice, "Excuse me."

I love this woman...she is my HERO!

Beer Cost, Champagne Look

Today I have on a dress that cost me $2.47...and I have to admit...I LOVE IT! It is basically a man's dress shirt print with a structured belt. The amazing little grey snake skin pumps I have on cost $15 at TJ Maxx. The completion of my outfit is a pair of earrings I got at New York & Co for $4.99. $22.46 for the entire outfit...and I have only told one person the true cost! I am getting better at not spilling my secrets.....