Hey Bartender....

I just recently got back from a "business trip," that was held in Florida. Usually the trip, which I have been on 4 times now, is an amazing time with warm weather, sun, and relaxation. This year it was cold. 65 degrees with 25 mph winds.

So I spent quality amounts of time roaming around the resort and searching for Diet Coke. It completely annoys me when there is only Pepsi products available at a resort...freaking provide both if my room rate is $995/night....you can afford it!

As I was roaming the resort hallways I wondered into a coffee shop that had cans of D Coke for $2.95...and yeah...I bought two. As I was waiting in line, this 90 pound tan as a blackberry lady that might have been around 75 years old passed by me. The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that she only wore a sweatshirt and a black bikini bottom...keep in mind...she is 75 years old. She is so tan that her saggy little ass almost looks cute.

She passes by me and leans into the large fridge to grab out...and I am not kidding you....an Ensure enhanced calorie drink...and 2 cans of Miller Light. As she passes by me she says in the lowest, deepest, smokiest voice, "Excuse me."

I love this woman...she is my HERO!