Oddities of Life

I can't decide if I find it fascinating that my dogs feet smell like Frito's.....

or....

Gross that Frito's smell like my dogs feet.....

Our Blind Side

As my hubby and I were relaxing in bed the other night....I had Miss Bridget Jones asleep in my arms, when I suddenly had the urge to use the bathroom. Bridget refused to move, causing me to maneuver around her and crawl over her, as I was doing this I looked at her and said, "You used to live in a kennel, they had to shave you before you left and now look at you!"

Then as I was making my way the the bathroom I looked at Buford, who was also asleep on the bed and said, "And you....you were in prison (AKA Humane Society)."

Then I looked at Bailey who is fully aware that she was chosen and said, "Yep...you were the only one we totally planned." And then I looked at my hubby and said, "Hey...we are like The Blind Side, only with dogs."

Hubby's response? "God Love You..."

ZUMBA-Take One!

I had my first ZUMBA class today.

Number one...I was humbled instantly.
Number two...it is painfully clear that I have no sexual energy, especially in my general hip area.
Number three....I have no rhythm, none whatsoever!

Mistake of the Day

Mistake of the day: Ramping up the fiber in my diet by eating:

• Fiber One Cereal (with extra fiber)
• munching on a apple w/PB for a snack

The problem came about during my 11:50 step class today when the fiber kicked in and I was bloated and had to pass gas. Luckily everyone survived the class and was not blown away by my vapors...but it was closer than everyone really knew.

Whale Watchers

Good Morning All! Happy Fresh Monday Morning! I am tackling Weight Watchers, I am going to start counting my points today! I lovingly call Weight Watchers, Whale Watchers....cause that is what it feels like to me...
So today it starts....I have only so many points today...I need to use them wisely....and I have already wasted...no used six points on a bagel....and 2 points on a granola bar...and I AM STARVING! And...It's only 8:38.....not looking good captain!

New BFF

I have been fortunate enough to have the exact same BFF for the past 24 years...We can sit in silence and speak volumes, we can finish each others thoughts, know each others fears without having to verbalize it. And as much as I love and cherish my husband, he still doesn't know me as well as she does. But....she is risking loosing me...to my new friend Leah... Let me tell you a little more about Leah....

• She is in her twenties
• She works at Wal-greens
• She has been trying to loose weight, especially in her abs area.
• She had been running 6 miles a day, but then her feet began to hurt, she thinks it's because she needs inserts in her tennies.
• She has an awesome metabolism...but just needs to jump start it.
• She likes to look at fashion mags as she stands at the counter at Wal-greens...she finds that it can both be inspirational, as well as depressing...
• Wait...she really likes my nail polish!!!

I learned all this information about Leah in approximately 3 minutes while checking out with my issue of Fitness mag and a bottle of deep purple nail polish. I figure with all this information Leah gave me, we are fast on our way to becoming instand BFF's.

Barking up the Wrong Tree

My hubby just called me at work to tell me that due to my cold, my "barking," sounded horrible last night. He quickly corrected himself and said...I didn't mean to say that, I meant "coughing."

He has obviously got to find a job soon, as he is spending entirely TOO much time with our dogs....ha! ha!

Ironic

How is it that I was brave enough to get the flu shot last Wednesday and now....I HAVE A COLD.....Grrr....

Feeling Good Again...

This weather we are having is making me feel so good.....I have been so hot and uncomfortable for so long that I finally feel like myself again...I no longer feel like a middle aged woman having an all day hot flash...and have in fact made it most of the week without having to put my hair up because I am too hot to have anything laying on my neck!

Now my poor husband is probably freezing because it's been down in the 30's and 40's at night and we still sleep with the windows open...but he's a good man and doesn't complain...I think he is even finding it kind of funny when I refer to myself as a werewolf...I almost think it's kind of funny when he tells me he has been a vampire for centuries....almost....

Honestly...I am just feeling pretty lucky today...

8:31 AM

How is it only 8:31 AM and I am craving chocolate....Yikes my friends...it's going to be a long day.

Planet Smooth Talker

I forgot my lunch again today and had no lunch meetings, so I decided it would be a good idea to get out of the office and grab a smoothie at Planet Smoothie.
I parked the car and went inside. Like usual, the place was dead and I wasn't even sure if there was a worker there.
But as I glanced around I noticed the normal guy that works days was sitting in a booth working on a laptop. He casually said, " I am ready whenever you are..."
So I ordered my smoothie and pulled out my CC to pay.
Please note, please note...other than my order and his saying that he was ready whenever I was, no words or even looks were exchanged....
As I am packing up to leave he says," And by the way....you look really pretty today."
This makes me feel like a complete asshole, because I didn't even leave him a tip...Drats!

Friday's Soap Box-Edition 1

It is completely unfair that Lindsay Lohan has a Birkin bag and I do not....She is not responsible enough to have one. I am quite sure that she would lay it down and potentially leave it...and then when asked about it...report it as stolen...

That's right people, I am angry about this! This shit is not fair!!! And I will not take this lying down.

Is this love...

Conversation when I got home from a long day of work:

Me: My feet are killing me...do you mind rubbing them?
Hubby: Sure (he begins attempting to rub my feet and then gets a disgusted look on his face,) Wow...these feet are so soft....
Me: Shut up....they are better than they used to be...
Hubby: That isn't saying much...I think I just cut myself....

Me: Hey...will you rub my neck?
Hubby: Sure....let me go wash my hands first. (he's weird about touching feet and then other things.)
Me: Thanks...my neck is killing me...I got stuck in a dress today after work and I think I pinched something.
Hubby: You got stuck in a dress????
Me: Yeah...I was trying a dress on and it got stuck. So, I was stuck in a dressing room with my arms pinned up around my ears. (I shove my arms straight up showing him what it could have looked like.)
Hubby: What did you do?
Me: I coached myself and tried to figure it out.
Hubby: You coached yourself???
Me: Yeah...like come on, you can do this, you got into this dress, you can get out....And I finally got it over my giants breasts...But I hurt my neck in the process cause I was stuck for about 10 minutes. I mean I thought about buying the dress and then cutting it off, but that seemed extreme and I also didn't know how I would even get out of the dressing room. Plus I just had my slip on.
Hubby: God love you....

Good Hair Days

Ok...So I am having a fairly good hair day....except the left side of my hair...obviously from where I sleep on it. How am I going to fix that...perhaps I will start sleeping with a hair bonnet like my grandmother used to...

The Price is Right

My goal for the Month: Whenever someone compliments me on something I am wearing...I am NOT to reveal how much money I did not pay for it!!!!!

I have such a bad habit when someone says, "Hey...I love that shirt." I automatically respond with...."I paid $3.95 for it!"

Wrong....need to be a bit more tactful....

Curvy Size 2

I find hilarious when I am cruising the "sale," section of Gap.com and they list their curvy pants on promotion and the only sizes they have left are 2's and 4's....
Really....really...really? What size 2 or 4 do you know Gap.com that would say they are curvy?

Print Please

Is it sad that I have a bunch of medical forms to fill out and I am excited?

I love to fill out forms...I love to print...now I just need to find the PERFECT pen to write on my forms with...because I will have to use the same pen on every single form...Yeah...there are that many forms...

Kodak Moment....

Dude....I just saw a girl in our cafe at work with a sheer black shirt on with a black bra only underneath. She had a short black skirt on w/ stacked black gladiator heels on...

I figure she must have a man as a boss, otherwise a female boss would have sent her home by lunchtime....

All the same, I wish I would have had my camera to capture it, cause no one will believe me...Drats!

Nervous Nellie

I find it amazing in the movies or TV when people get bad news or are nervous in general, they throw up. But in my case, when I get nervous...I get horrible gas....This just does not seem fair...or the least bit sexy...not that throwing up is...but on a sliding scale, I think it's sexier than flatulence.


I am just saying.....

I'm full, thank you!

Why is it that when you feel your plate is completely full, sometimes God dumps mashed potatoes on it as well?

And I don't even like mashed potatoes!!!!!

Glass of water please....

Why is it that executives, etc never carry water bottles? I always feel self conscious when going into meeting with my pink water bottle and no "leaders," have one.

• Are executives not all that thirsty? Is that their key to success, only be hungry for power, not thirsty for it...
• Do executives believe that water bottles are below them?
• Do executives not believe in recycling and saving the earth?

Just curious....thoughts?????

What can I say...l'm popular.....

Picture this...I am eating lunch yesterday with my boss...enjoying my fruity chicken salad from First Watch...YUM! And this woman comes and sits at the table beside us and greets me with a warm, "Hello, how are you?" We exchange a couple brief words and go back to our respective tables.

My boss then asks how I know this woman and I respond, "Oh, she works at The Limited at Easton."

My boss looks at me and says, "You have a problem."

So true....

Work Lesson # 1

I try never to write about work on this blog, because it certainly isn't about work...but here I go, breaking my own rule.

I was meeting with someone today for the first time about something that I don't usually work with. And without giving up too much info, he asked me if I knew what he did and what the meaning behind all he did, etc. I answered his questions quite well, if I do say so myself. Although he kept saying,"good answer," and "yes, that's exactly right," he kept asking me to pretend I was this and I was that, so I could better understand what he did. It was patronizing and annoying....I finally said, "I completely understand where you are going here, the examples are not necessary," in my really profession voice. I thought, you take that and stick it in your chocolate smoothie! (As we were walking back from Starbucks.)

Then I stepped out into the street and nearly got hit by on car...creditability went down to zero and the examples returned...

Drats!!!!

9:45 AM

It's 9:45 and I have my Diet Coke and M&M cookies...my world is complete......at least for the next 3-4 minutes....

One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not too fond of the following things:

• Heat/Being hot-I panic!
• Children
• Organized Sporting events, especially watching them

And even though my area at work was told as a special treat we would head to the new Huntington Park to catch a lunch Clippers game, I tried to keep a positive attitude. I am very appreciative that they allow us fun days and to be away from the office. I, in fact, tried to remain positive even when we got to the park and noticed numerous "mini buses," with daycare names on them. I even remained positive when they were handing out posters for children as you walked in.

I don't know when my cookie started to crumble, but I think it was around the time that I realized that it was "Daycare Day," at Clippers Stadium and I was surrounded by at least 100 kids. Now I know that sometimes I get a big dramatic on here, but I am spitting the truth on this one...Kids everyone! I felt like Ms. Hanigan from Annie. Except instead of little girls, little girls, I would have sang, little kids...little kids.

These children began to chant things such as, "You missed it loser, " and "Let's got Clippers, let's go...Clip my nails!" And I will be honest...they were almost cute the first 50 times.

And then there was the heat. I am a very hot natured person, the time I tell you I am cold...I am potentially sick and dying. So yesterday as we sat in the extreme heat with the sun beating directly on us, I thought I was going to die. At one point I stood up and looked like I had a "wee," bit of an accident because I was sweating so badly.

And to top it all off, we stayed the entire 9 innings, as did the lovely, lovely children. At one point I actually began to tear up because the situation was just not funny anymore. I was miserable.

I know this post wasn't particularly funny, but I just felt like someone else should know my pain. Perhaps I should have warned you in the beginning of the post....

Hell no!!!! No one warned me at the beginning of the game...so we are all kind of even...

Crime and Punishment

As I have mentioned in an earlier post, we have a musician staying with us and Victor is really no trouble at all, in fact other than our dogs acting like complete idiots every time Victor:

* Walks out of his room

* Comes in the front door

* Coughs

* Blinks his eyes

you would never even know he was there.

Our dogs are perfect when it's just us, but add someone they don't know and they are on constant alert and have suspicions that the new person is an informant for Bin Laden. They bark and jump off of the bed, us, etc. You get the picture.

And I have to admit, I am terrible at disciplining them at everything. I don't do to much when they jump off the bed barking like mad, or when the drink out of the toilet, or when they won't move from a spot I would like to sit. The Hubby gets so annoyed at me because together we aren't a united front. But I ask you...could you discipline this little cutie?

I'm in Bitches!

Today is shaping up to be a good day...Dear sweet Hadley Hartz confirmed me as a friend on FB. My week is now complete and it's only Thursday! ROCK and ROLL.


Also...not to sound like a complete stalker...but HH and I have the same bracelet....I am taking a shot of mine tonight to post...this was fate....

Southern Ohio Belle- Updation

Miss Hadley has still not accepted me as a friend. Now I realize per the last episode she was going to quit dating men with no future and focus on her career, but COME ON...Add me already. I really think that the likelihood of her reading my stalking blog is probably very little, so I am not blaming the blog as of yet. But it may come to it.

On other Southern Belles news, I was doing some googling today and discovered that Shea's ex-finance Jeff is now romantically linked to Katie King who was the woman Hadley did some campaigning on the show for...weird....

Yes...I am concerned about my fascination with this show and No...I don't know what I am going to do about it....

Dear M&M Cookies...

Dear M&M cookies and Diet Coke...why can't I quit you in the morning....what makes me crave you at 9:45 every day...

Sex and Santa

This past weekend I took a road trip with my aunt, grandmother and two cousins. Needless to say, I laughed the entire way and had an amazing time. As I was trying to recount the days events to my mother who, was unable to attend, I couldn't really drill down to details that were so funny to explain why I laughed so hard, it was just the whole atmosphere.

There was however one story that was so funny that I wish I could claim it as my own. My cousin Leea, has two boys, one 10 and one 5 roughly. Leea also has a circus of animals at her homestead including large turtles. One day Leea's oldest son, Cannon came upon a male and a female turtle having an intimate moment, let's say...and then Cannon came to Leea for a bit of the birds and the bees lesson. Leea stalling for time, told Cannon to wait till his little brother Aiden was asleep and they would talk about it.

So sure enough when Aiden went down for the count that night, Cannon was right at Leea's side wanting to know some dirty details. Leea's approach was a scientific book, much to Cannon's dismay...but they did end up talking a bit and Leea then feared that Cannon would take this highly coveted adult talk to his little brother. So Leea ended she and Cannon's chat with a quick speech about how Cannon didn't need to share all his knowledge with his little brother Aiden.
Leea said, "Like for example Cannon, you don't need to tell Aiden that there isn't a Santa Claus, even though you know that."
In response Cannon wails, "What do you mean there isn't a Santa Claus Mom!!!!"

My favorite part of this story is that the 10 year old wanted to know about sex, but still believed in Santa Claus. Man...I wish I could claim this story as my own...it was just so cute!

*Maybe Cannon can ask Santa for a sex tell all book this Christmas!

Professional in Pink????

Hmmm....I am quite curious, do you think the large amount of pink in my office makes me look more or less professional?

Reservations for One Please!

In Lancaster, Oh where my husband and I have our crib, we have a 2 week festival call uniquely the Lancaster Festival...This festival hosts many different, fun events with the highlight being two weekend concerts under the stars with a relatively well known musician and a full orchestra. Some musicians in the past have included Peter Cetra, Kenny Loggins, Wynonna, Jodie Mecina, and a host of others. This year is no different, we have The Temptations performing on Saturday, July 25th and LeeAnn Womack performing Saturday August 1st.
Needless to say this is a big undertaking for a community the size of Lancaster. One of the ways Lancaster makes it work is by having local families host the orchestra members for two weeks. This year they finally got to us and we are hosting Victor, who plays the cello.

To be honest I am mostly looking forward to the experience, as we will have live music in the house for two weeks. But I do have some reservations and they follow as such:
1.) Do I have to constantly have a bra on when I walk around the house?
2.) I bet this means I cannot fart and burp at my leisure when I get home from work.
3.) Wonder how many times our crazy ass dog Bailey will pee on the floor in Victor's presence?
4.) Victor does not eat red meat, which I completely respect. However, while shopping at the grocery on Sunday for his arrival...I mostly cook red meat meals and chicken...I am going to have to get creative.
5.) I normally am quite the nosey person, does this mean I am finally getting a taste of my own medicine and Victor will go through my stuff....Will I be forced to learn my lesson?

Goodness sake...how with this turn out? And if you really want the honest truth...my biggest concern is number 2 on the list...mainly because my hubby will adjust to this and expect it on a regular basis!!!!

He loves me...he really does love me....

Sally Field really said it right when she said, "You like me, you really like me." If you recall, sometime ago, I wrote about my husband's facial hair and my hatred of it. Well, he walked around with that thing for nearly 4 months....at 2 months I stopped trying to coax him out of it, at 3 months I tried to tell him I wouldn't kiss him with it, and at 4 months I prayed he would come home from Texas without it. NO LUCK...So I did what any self respecting woman would do, I BEGGED...and BEGGED...and BEGGED. And it worked....Nagging Works! Thank you Baby Jesus! The facial hair is gone...And I am the happiest woman/wife ever, he must love me and it only took him 4 months to make a final decision!

Southern Ohio Belle

I believe I have a problem and I am slightly embarrassed. Number one, I am obsessed with Southern Belles: Louisville on Soapnet. If you haven't caught it, the season finale is on Thursday, July 23rd...but it plays on Soapnet all the time. The show is adorable! My BFF turned me on to it and I could watch it all day. It follows the lives of 5 girls/ladies from the Louisville area in life, love, and misc adventures.
But what I am really embarassed with is that I ask my favorite Southern Belle, Hadley Hartz to be my friend on Facebook. I have never done that, but I do equate it to quite possibly stalking. I honestly don't know what got into me, I googled her name (never a good start) and when her FB page came up it asked if I wanted to request her as a friend. Without missing a beat I hit "ask to be friends."
Now I have regret....because I feel like such a loser and will feel even worse if Hadley rejects me, or simply ignores me...totally passive aggressive....
Stay tuned....

Just Can't do it Captain....

I just couldn't do it today....Just couldn't do it...I could not bring myself to put work appropriate under garments on today...instead, I have a lovely VPL and granny panties on...
What can I say....some days I just can't wear dental floss....

Girl Bonding

I don't know what it is, but there is just a rush I get when I know I have a little girl bonding time with one of my girlfriends. Grant you, it might be because girl bonding for me usually means shopping. But mainly I just have a great group of girlfriends. Not one of them is the same. Take for example tonight, I am going to hang with my friend Alison. She and I are on the same wave length about most things and get a good laugh from each other on our day to day antics... For example the last time I was chatting with her on my cell phone and I panicked as I was going into the mall and said to her, "Alison, I cannot find my cell phone!"

I like to think she was laughing with me and not at me.

I mean, this was the same girlfriend that asked me to show her how to use the toilet guards in the bathroom and called me at 5:20AM to tell me she had misplaced her car in the a/p parking lot and what should she do?

Girlfriends are just the best, I love my hubby to the ends of the earth...but there is just something about your girlfriends....

The Stache Continues

My husband's damn stache continues to haunt me. I don't know if he is continuing to grow it in spite of me, or to drive me crazy. I have been trying to figure ways to shave it while he sleeps, but I am concerned that he will move suddenly and I will cut his lip off. I have inquired about a rufie (sp), but it seems no one I know, knows where to obtain one of these.

I have stopped complaining about it though, because the hubby lovingly informed me that every time I complain about it, it adds to more days to him keeping it. He also added that at this point we are up to 3 months of the stache. While I don't think it's fair to hold me to rules I was completely unaware of, I am not going to say a word. However, I did mention he could give me the best birthday gift in the world and shave it for my b-day that is coming up.

I am not holding my breath.....

Baby Momma Drama

I recently went to a friend of mine's baby shower. I normally loathe baby showers as I honestly have very little interest in them. I have no children and I honestly don't find anything interesting about miniature clothes, burp clothes, and pack-n-plays. And don't even get me started on the games. I do not enjoy eating baby food blindfolded by a complete stranger, sometimes I accidentally say baby a lot more than I thought, and the melted candy bar in the diaper, what sick ass individual thought up that game, Satan perhaps.

Ahh...but I digress....

So this baby shower was perhaps the best one I have ever attended. Number one, I was 30 minutes late (but my nails looked fabulous!) and I missed a lot of the baby and birthing talk. And as I walked in, they were serving the food, score again! And we just settled down to play the one game of the day...the Baby Momma Game. This game consisted of a sheet of paper with about 10 baby names on it with a one bonus question. The baby names all belonged to a celebrity mother and of course, the purpose was to name the celebrity mother to the baby. FINALLY, a game I can get on board with and kick ass. Not only did I list every celebrity mother, I was also able to name the usually more obscure father, hence Cash Warren. And I got the bonus right, I was able to name all of Angie and Brad's pack.

Watch out bitches! I might just start coming to random showers if these are the new wave of baby shower games.
And as an added bonus...the prize handed out was a candle named, "butt naked." I simply loved the name. I went home very satisfied.

Fishing

My dear sweet husband, you know the one, currently working from home on finding work, was so excited to tell me the other day that he was going to go and learn how to be a fishing instructor.
To be honest, my reaction wasn't the best, but please, this came out of left field. I looked at him like he was crazy and asked, "why?" He basically said it was something different to do other than sit in front of a computer and look for jobs. Plus it was free. At that I was game, if it was free, he could do it.
So my husband went with 10 other folks who mainly work for Ohio Department of Wildlife, etc and learned (is that a word?) how to teach children to fish. I am not sure that this will really pump up his resume or ability to "land," jobs...but he did get a free rod and reel out of the deal...so that is pretty cool.

I am Married to Mr. Mom

For those of who don't know, currently my husband is working from home. And by working from home, I mean looking for work from home. That is right, like half of America, my husband has been laid of his job. I think it has been about three weeks now he has been home and I have a sinking feeling that I might be married to Mr. Mom (think Michael Keaton from the 80's flick.) First of all, the facial hair. The facial hair that drives me bonkers. My husband is usually a very handsome, clean shaven man, but since he does not have to go to "work," everyday, he is letting his mustache grow out. Grrr... Then there is the fact that last night he told me I was going to have to give up my woobie. Woobie being the 3rd pillow I had been using during my bronchitis nights to keep myself propped up. And finally, when I arrived home from work today, I found him decked out in a coordinating grey sweatsuit. I HATE sweats, to me they are like one step away from giving up on life completely. And my wonderful husband had a coordinating sweat outfit on...
If I come home tomorrow and he is playing poker with the neighbor ladies for coupons...I am in BIG trouble.

Bagels vs Staches....

2009 has been a rough year so far for me, health wise. I started back to work with what I thought was a cold and it turned out to be bronchitis. Bronchitis that gave me an amazing smoker's voice and a raspy-ass cough for weeks. No sooner did I get over that, but I got some God-awful stomach virus that threatened to defeat me. I am not joking, I was out of commission for a nice week with this crap(figuratively and literally). During this time, my loving husband was AMAZING! He would take care of me, get me drinks, get me tissues, provide me with chick flicks and watch them with me, etc. However, during my stomach virus, I asked him if he minded getting me a bagel from Panera, which would require him to get dressed, leave our warm home, go out into the cold, and drive to Panera...well, you get the picture. He lovingly looks at me (and I look like a complete mess by the way,) and says, "anything for you." OMG! How sweet was that? I wanted to cry...and I am not an emotional person. But then I began to think??? Anything for me? How about shaving that RIDICULOUS mustache thing you have been growing that I absolutely despise, that I have been begging you to shave. Nope...I can have a bagel. I see where I stand.

Brown Sugar Baby

For those of you who don't know...I am trying several different things as of late, one thing is a budget, the second is dressing for the job I want, not the one I currently have. With this being said...I present you Brown Sugar.
So in my attempts to dress more professionally, I recently purchased a super cute dress from Gap.com. I had tried it on in the Gap store, but it was cheaper on line (ahh....the budget!) So I purchased this adorable dress...and then decided that it would look more professional if I wore hosiery and pumps versus tights and black boots. So while at the grocery on Sunday, I perused the hosiery section. My how things have changed since I had to wear hose everyday. Those puppies are expensive. So when checking out the selection, I noticed that there were these "Brown Sugar," ones aimed at a certain type of person,let's just say the Cosby's....and they were a lot less...$1.99 versus all the others starting at $3.99 and going up in to the $7range....And there were black colored Brown Sugar hose...and I thought to myself...what a fantastic find...who cares what color you are underneath black hose....Ahh...budget!
So I purchased my first pair of Brown Sugar's....quite proud of myself...both for bridging the racial gap by buying them and by saving a couple of dollars at the same time.
And this morning I put on my cute dress and opened my Brown Sugars....Oh Lord Almighty....Ladies, I have gotten what I paid for...My brown sugars are well....much like sandpaper....and the crotch (sorry, I cannot think of a better word for it.) is about 5inches below were it is supposed to be. The sandpaper effect makes issues with tearing and catching...so I look somewhat like I have teeny tiny white dots everywhere...but that is just were the sandpapering giving a little more. And I am afraid my brut strength when pulling them up will rip them to shreads, so bathroom trips will be limited today...
And on top of that...I have a meeting with my Vice President today...which means I am going to have to go to the convenience store here in the building and buy a pair of $10 hose...and so my idea of paying a couple of bucks less has cost me more...
Yikes what is a girl to do....

I am just saying...The very first time....

I have decided that I need to capture all the crazy, wonderful things to that happen to me on a daily basis. I believe I know the root of cause of most of this...but I will leave that up to my readers to discover.